“To this Christmas, I ask only love”: a letter of a man
We are used to believe that fantasies about love are the destiny of women, this idea is broadcast books, films, advertising. The blogger of the region Daniels admits that men also dream of love.
I imagine how idly I stagger around the living room. I find gifts under the Christmas tree, unfold them, my heart begins to beat more often. What is there inside? Radio-controlled helicopter? Diary? If only it was the new iPhone! As a child, I believed in Santa Claus. I remember how I sacrificed a dream in order to finish the lists of desires with cold winter nights. Christmas songs returned me to the question of which gift would be the most welcome to this Christmas.
I could still use hundreds of pages with desires. But I grow up, and the list of desires is changing, now there are no things in it. With age, the realization comes that the material does not satisfy the desires of the heart, the heart strive for love. But it cannot be obtained in a gift package with New Year’s ornaments or in wrapping paper. It comes from loved ones and depends on perception.
At this Christmas I promise to love myself, I want to give others more love, moreover, I promise to love myself. It is difficult to look for love when you cannot find it inside.
During the New Year holidays, I don’t need gorgeous gifts, I need to feel love. The list of desires includes only this and nothing more. I think loved ones know me and understand what love I am looking for. I value impressions more than things. Until I am bored, a gift hidden under a beautiful wrapper does not matter. Many people prefer to seek comfort in the material world, in gifts under the Christmas tree. Only some will choose a less hackneyed path. Of course, you will have to go towards the unknown, but in return you can get more. Open what has prepared life, we get what is intended, follow the dream.
“What is love for you?”
Svetlana Boyarinova, psychologist
First of all, answer yourself a few questions. What is love for you personally? What manifestations do you consider love: compliments, gifts, joint pastime, care, attention? You want to receive love or give it to others? You know how to give love to yourself? Do you love yourself? Only by learning to love yourself, you can love others. Otherwise, this is not love, but self-sacrifice, giving love with the hope of getting something in return. Love is a verb. It is not enough to speak, you need to show love: in relation to yourself in your own language of love, in relation to others – in their language.
To find out your language of love, make a list of words and actions that you show your partner, friends, children and parents that you love them. As a rule, we do for others what we would like to receive ourselves. Use the list to show love for yourself on a regular basis until you form a habit. This will give energy and help become self -sufficient. You will feel the strength and joy of the fact that you can give yourself all the most valuable yourself.
The next step is to tell loved ones that love is for you. Explain what you expect from them, what manifestations of
love are important to you, which is not. Start a conversation with the question of themselves: what is love for them, do they feel your love, what is important to them that they need. Then tell about yourself.
If there are difficulties with understanding, use the book “Five Lyubov Languages” Gary Capricen. She will teach you to understand others and give them what they really need. This will require an emotional resource, so you need to monitor your state. Try to communicate less with those who deviate you. Do what fills you with energy, gives joy and soothes.